I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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