Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
