Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Randomize
