my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
he puts the penis in happiness.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
