i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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