where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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