i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
my nose is crying tears of wow.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize
