That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
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