FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Enjoy the penises
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
