Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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