lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
look no pants
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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