This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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