Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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