I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
