but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
