I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
she told me i tasted like america
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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