Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
