dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Randomize
