are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Randomize
