I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I feel like death gave me a hand job
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
