I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
