and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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