There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize
