Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
