singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
