so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
