I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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