everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
