if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
