Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
