boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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