You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize
