is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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