READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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