i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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