so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
You smell like stripper and shame
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
