I CAN MOONWALK!
I just cut my nipple shaving
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Randomize
