Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
