My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
