I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
It's not a walk of shame if you run
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
