I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
