OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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