Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
