One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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