I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
