The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Randomize
