high people should be assigned attendants
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
