Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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