Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
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