How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
